Excuse me..? What was that?

This week was National Medical Transcription Week. (Yup, we're THAT special.)
So to help with the celebration, we were emailed an attachment containing bloopers by the system. What we have here is Speech Recognition, where basically the doctor will dictate into a phone line and our computers put the recording through a recognition software program that 'learns' how the physician speaks. When it's time for us to transcribe the note, the entire text of the dictation pulls into Word, all typed out and ready. We basically now, EDIT. ('cuz after all, machines aren't accurate when it comes to the English language)
Heck - I AIN'T ACCURATE with it. See whatimean?
So for the bloopers document, it contains quotes from random reports that people have come across, that AREN'T QUITE right. And frankly, FRIGGEN HILARIOUS! I'm going to share a few:
--"His primary physician is Dr. Gas-X"
Should have been: "Dr. Gasik"
--"Weight 144 pounds. That may be a stork weight"
Should have been: "historical"
--"The patient could not recall who the old or new presidents were, but knew there was an erection recently"
Should have been: "election"
--"The patient lives with his bowels"
Should have been: "spouse" (Freudian perhaps?)
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And my favorite..........
--"She is widowed and lives alone in her own home in the vagina area"
Should have been: "Edina area"
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You see folks, this is why PEOPLE are needed.